Saturday, January 12, 2013

3D IS DEAD! 3D IS DEAD! (WRONG!)

There have been a number of bloggers over the past few years who have gone to extensive lengths to proclaim their hatred of 3D. Roger Ebert tends to be one of the loudest. Maybe he was traumatized as a child by a showing of BWANA DEVIL. Maybe he's having flashbacks to the 80s 3D movies like FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III. Or maybe he's just an old fart who can't accept the fact that while it took 80 years of movie history, they finally got it right. Who knows? Nonetheless, Ebert will tell you how terrible 3D is, even while respectable directors like Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorcesse, and Peter Jackson make movies in 3D.

Ebert's not alone, of course, Go to IMDB and read the posts of people who rage at the idea of movies being made in 3D. Christopher Nolan rejects the very notion of 3D every chance he gets. And most recently, a blogger for a site called THE VERGE wrote an article titled "It's Official: 3-D Is Dead". I decided to read this blog for amusement. The blogger's hypothesis is that 3D is everywhere now, you can get it in any TV, but it's not as trumpeted at Consumer Electronics Shows as it was in years past, therefore it is dead. In other words, it's mainstream now so it's dead. Wait, what?

Back in the 1960s, when a TV show was in color, it had a little title card trumpeting that fact. They don't do that anymore, so color is mainstream and therefore dead I guess. Oh, and in the 1980s, a TV show in stereo would have a little subtitle advising you that it was "IN STEREO WHERE AVAILABLE". I haven't seen that subtitle in years, so it's mainstream and therefore dead. That's if you're following the logic of this guy Vlad.

Not everybody is going to like 3D. I'm about the only member of my family who actually likes it, in fact. Not everybody can even see it. About 10% of the world is stereo blind. But, just because you declare you don't like something doesn't mean that it's dead or that the people who do like it are morons for liking it. This, by the way, appears to be the attitude of many of the haters when supporters speak up. Unfortunately for those haters, I don't care much about their opinion of me.  Sorry, guys. I've been a 3D fan since 1982 and remain unashamed about it. Besides, how can one take seriously the opinions of people who don't even know when something is truly dead?

This is technically 3D's fifth run at the movies. There was a very minor run in the 1920s which was quickly displaced by experimentation in sound. Mind you, sound also displaced experimentation over widescreen processes around the same time frame.

The first big run, often referred to as The Golden Age by enthusiasts, was from 1952-1955. 50 features and numerous shorts were put out during that time frame. As fast as it started, however, it was over. Some have blamed the popularity of CinemaScope as the death of 3D, and while that technology may have played a part, an equally reasonable explanation was the incompetence of various projectionists. In the 1950s, 3D required two projectors running in perfect synchronization as well as a silver screen. There are numerous horror stories of projectionists letting the synchronization go out, causing retinal rivalry (where one eye sees a completely different image than the other) which in turn caused headaches, nauseua, etc. CinemaScope and other widescreen processes like VistaVision didn't have this requirement and therefore stuck around.

A single strip system came up in the 1960s. This system put both images on a single strip of film which was then projected through a special box.  The theory was that this would eliminate the projection problems. This was the system in use from the 60s through the 80s. Starting around 1969, there was something of a boom, but the majority of these titles were porn and by the mid-late 1970s, 3D was out again. In 1981, the 3D movie COMIN' AT YA! came out and kick started another round of 3D movies. But by the time of AMITYVILLE 3D in October, 1983, audiences (and Hollywood) had lost interest again. While a few more titles limped out over the next two years, 3D in the mainstream was effectively done. The reason it went away is probably because of the sheer awfulness of the movies, though incompetent projectionists also likely did their part. I've seen the single strip method improperly projected and it's pretty painful.

There were a couple of experiments in the 1990s, but only one got a really wide release: FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE, which had it's last 14 minutes in anaglyphic 3D. The current run, however, started up in 2003 with SPY KIDS 3-D: GAME OVER and GHOSTS OF THE ABYSS.  Though SPY KIDS 3-D was in anaglyph, as was it's 2005 follow up THE ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY AND LAVA GIRL, the cameras used on them were the cameras being used on other modern 3D movies. The popularity of SPY KIDS 3-D, which was the first 3-D movie to make over $100 million at the box office, led to the Digital 3D that has been in the theaters since CHICKEN LITTLE came out in 2005. And this time, the projection really is projectionist proof. The movies are basically digital files. A special filter is placed in front of the projector which slows down one component of the light wave slightly and allows a linear polarized image to be converted into a circular polarized image. This method pretty much eliminates the possibility of misprojection. This may explain why modern 3D has lasted so long.

What's the point of this history lesson, you may be asking yourself. The point is that in the past when 3D died, they simply stopped making and announcing 3D movies. Not one 3D movie was announced for 1984 back then. As I say, a couple came out, but they were low budget affairs. After AMITYVILLE 3D, 3D movies in the 1980s were done. There's over 3 dozen 3D movies being released in 2013 alone, including such major films as OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL, IRON MAN 3, MAN OF STEEL, THE HOBBIT 2, THOR 2, and SIN CITY: A DAME TO DIE FOR. 3D Blu Ray is still going strong with a number of titles coming up in the next few months including LIFE OF PI and WRECK-IT-RALPH as well as Warner's release of HOUSE OF WAX this fall.

If 3D were as dead as the nay-sayers claim--make that want--I wouldn't have a 3D Blu of HOUSE OF WAX to look forward to. I wouldn't have OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL or THOR 2 to look forward to. It would be 1984 all over again. Instead, there's a number of 3D products still coming. Am I going to see them all? Of course not. Years ago I decided I didn't need to see every 3D film ever (specifically, I decided that after my first 3D porn). But I still dig 3D and am kinda happy to be living in the era I am where I have a 3D TV that shows a great 3D image, a bunch of 3D blu rays, and plenty of 3D movies to see in the theater if I so choose.

One reasons the haters give is the belief that Hollywood will force them to watch 3D. Actually, one thing that make this era different from previous eras is the simultaneous 2D and 3D releases of the movies.  Wanna see THE HOBBIT in 3D? You can. Want to see it regular? Good news for you, you don't have to wait for the video. You can go straight to the theater and see it normal. Back in the 1980s, if you went to the movies to see JAWS 3-D, you could only see it in 3D. Not the case now. This insanity extends to 3D TVs. People are under the impression that if they buy a 3D TV, they will have to watch everything in 3D. Umm...I have a 3D TV. And the only stuff I watch in 3D is 3D Blu Rays or 3D On Demand. I don't watch HOT IN CLEVELAND in 3D. Nor would I have to. So, you don't have to watch 3D anymore than you have to watch anything you don't like. I don't like gory horror films. Ergo, I don't watch them.

I think that's one of the big things the haters miss. Nobody is forcing them to watch anything. 3D is ultimately like anything else. Just because it exists doesn't mean you have to subject yourself. I don't care for porn. Porn flourishes all over the internet. But just because porn is on the internet doesn't keep me from going on the internet. I just choose not to go to porn sites on the internet. I also don't like Rap music. And guess what? I don't listen to it, nor do I listen to stations that play it. Now, there's a lot of people who like porn and Rap music. I say good for them. They're entitled. I'm not going to declare Rap music and porn dead just because I don't like them, either. That would just make me look silly to the people who do like it.

Look, all you who hate 3D: we who like it get it. You don't like it. Fine. We don't even care why you don't like it. You're entitled to dislike it as much as we are entitled to like it. And for those of us who have been long time 3D fans, we'll know when it's dead again without you telling us. The signs will be self-evident. But it's not dead. Not yet. If anything, it's become a bit more mainstream. This run has legs, which makes us fans happy. To paraphrase Yukon Cornelius, "you like what you like and I'll like what I like".  And we'll all live happily ever after. Strange concept, I know, but I just thought I'd throw it out there.

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